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require 'uri/common'
require 'cgi'
# the 4q.cc "id => full name" mapping
FACTMAP = { "mrt" => "Mr\. T",
"vin" => "Vin Diesel",
"chuck" => "Chuck Norris" }
MIN_RATING = 6.0
PISSED_EXPRESSIONS = [
"fuck this, i'm going to go get toed up.",
"screw this, i'm going to get hammered.",
"forget this, i'm going to iron some shirts.",
"disregard this, i'm going out to kill me some prostitutes.",
]
# exceptions
class HTTPError < Exception; end
class ParseError < Exception; end
# the plugin
class ChuckNorrisPlugin < Plugin
def help(plugin, topic="")
"fact [person] => \"fact\" shows a random Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, or Mr. T fact. \"fact [person]\" shows a fact about someone in the channel. || chucknorris, chuck, norris => random Chuck Norris fact || vindiesel, vin, diesel => random Vin Diesel fact || mrt => I pity the foo who can't figure this one out."
end
def getfact(who)
raise "Unknown name: #{who}" unless FACTMAP.keys.include? who
# get the fact
factdata = @bot.httputil.get(URI.parse("http://www.4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=#{who}"))
unless factdata
raise HTTPError
end
longwho = FACTMAP[who]
# regexes
fact_matcher = %r{<h1> And now a random fact about #{longwho}...</h1>(.+?)<hr />}
rating_matcher = %r{Current Rating: <b>(\d+\.\d+)</b>}
# parse the fact
if factdata =~ fact_matcher
fact = CGI::unescapeHTML($1)
if factdata =~ rating_matcher
rating = $1.to_f
puts "fact=[#{fact}], rating=[#{rating}]"
return [fact, rating]
end
end
raise ParseError
end
def fact(m, params)
who = params[:who]
max_tries = (params[:tries] or "10").to_i
valid_people = FACTMAP.keys + ["random"]
# if the person wants a fact about themselves, then it'll substitute the name.
if valid_people.include? who
substitute_name = nil
else
substitute_name = who
who = 'random'
end
# pick a random person
if who == 'random'
if substitute_name
# take out the Mr. T facts if you're inserting someone's name
# beacuse tons of them suck, and most of them revolve around
# "pitying" someone or something.
people = FACTMAP.keys - ["mrt"]
who = people[rand(people.length)]
else
who = FACTMAP.keys[rand(FACTMAP.length)]
end
end
# get the long name
longwho = FACTMAP[who]
unless longwho
m.reply "Who the crap is #{who}?!?!"
return
end
# get the fact
m.reply "alright, let's see if I can find a good one..."
tries = 0
results = []
loop do
begin
puts "[chucknorris] Try number #{tries}/#{max_tries}..."
tries += 1
fact, rating = getfact(who)
if rating >= MIN_RATING
fact.gsub!(longwho, substitute_name) if substitute_name
m.reply "#{results.join(', ') + "... "}hrm, this one's not bad:"
m.reply "#{fact} [rating: #{rating}]"
return
else
results << "lame"
end
if tries > max_tries
m.reply "#{results.join(', ')}... these all suck. #{PISSED_EXPRESSIONS[rand(PISSED_EXPRESSIONS.length)]}"
return
end
rescue HTTPError
#m.reply "This #{longwho} fact punched my teeth in. (HTTP error)"
results << "DOH!"
tries += 1
rescue ParseError
#m.reply "This #{longwho} fact made my brain explode. (Parse error)"
results << "wtf?"
tries += 1
end
end
end
end
plugin = ChuckNorrisPlugin.new
plugin.map 'fact :who :tries', :action => 'fact',
:defaults => {:who => 'random', :tries=>10}
plugin.map 'chucknorris :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "chuck"}
plugin.map 'chuck :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "chuck"}
plugin.map 'norris :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "chuck"}
plugin.map 'vindiesel :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "vin"}
plugin.map 'diesel :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "vin"}
plugin.map 'vin :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "vin"}
plugin.map 'mrt :who', :action => 'fact', :defaults => {:who => "mrt"}
|
