Make the lart plugin use language-specific lart/praises

1 files changed, 98 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/data/rbot/templates/lart/larts-english b/data/rbot/templates/lart/larts-english
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c3a25880
--- /dev/null
+++ b/data/rbot/templates/lart/larts-english
@@ -0,0 +1,98 @@
+swaps <who>'s shampoo with nair
+installs windows on <who>'s machine
+forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks
+registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers
+resizes <who>'s terminal to 40x24
+takes <who>'s tea
+dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'
+pokes <who> in the eye
+beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Unix manual
+cats /dev/urandom into <who>'s ear
+signs <who> up for AOL
+enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101
+sporks <who>
+drops a truckload of VAXen on <who>
+judo chops <who>
+resizes <who>'s terminal to 40x24
+formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12
+rm -rf's <who>
+stabs <who>
+steals <who>'s mojo
+strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord
+whacks <who> with the cluebat
+sells <who> on E-Bay
+uses <who> as a biological warfare study
+uses the "Customer Appreciation Bat" on <who>
+reads <who> some vogon poetry
+puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex
+casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom
+gives <who> a melvin
+turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be "bugged"
+takes away <who>'s internet connection
+pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon
+counts "1, 2, 5... er... 3!" and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>
+puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders
+makes <who> read slashdot at -1
+puts "alias vim=emacs" in <who>'s /etc/profile
+uninstalls ld from <who>'s system
+locks <who> in the Chateau d'If
+signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons
+makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer
+fills <who>'s Visene eyedrop bottle with lime juice
+casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
+gives <who> a Chicago Steamer
+rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death
+pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher
+pokes <who> with a rusty nail
+puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets
+pours sand into <who>'s oatmeal
+mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste
+puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lip balm
+straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of "the world's most annoying sound" from "Dumb and Dumber"
+tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack
+forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing
+smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass
+puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives
+makes <who> watch reruns of "Blue's Clues"
+puts lye in <who>'s coffee
+tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass
+lets Borg have his way with <who>
+signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center
+wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings
+gives <who> a 2 guage Prince Albert
+forces <who> to eat all their veggies
+covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper
+fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce
+forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly neverending IRC political debate
+knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4
+removes debian from <who>'s system
+uses <who>'s debian cds for skeet shooting practice
+gives <who>'s phone number to Borg
+posts <who>'s IP and root password on alt.2600
+forces <who> to use words like "irregardless" and "administrate" (thereby sounding like a real dumbass)"
+tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out
+replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue
+replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets
+squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline for <who>
+submits <who>'s photo to the people at SA for photoshopping
+Forces <who> to learn the Win32 API
+gives <who> an atomic wedgie
+ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast
+forces <who> to use emacs for text editing
+frowns at <who> really really hard
+jabs a hot car lighter into <who>'s eye sockets
+forces <who> to browse the web with IE
+takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue
+forces <who> to listen to only emo music
+signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship
+attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM
+donkey punches <who>
+puts track spikes into <who>'s side
+replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld
+replaces <who>'s hypertension pills with rat poison pellets
+replaces <who>s jock itch cream with Nair
+does the Australian Death Grip on <who>
+dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.
+farts in <who>'s general direction
+flogs <who> with stinging neddle
+hands <who> a poison ivy joint