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+Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell
+Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors
+Hardware /nm./: the part of the computer that you can kick.
+Maniac /n./ An early computer built by nuts.
+RAM /abr./: Rarely Adequate Memory.
+Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects
+Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels
+Plonk /excl./: The sound a newbie makes as he falls to the bottom of a kill file
+hURL /n./: a link to a web site that makes you want to puke
+SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.
+If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it? . The Covert Comic.
+A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. . Joseph Campbell
+I dropped my computer on my foot! That Megahurtz!!
+A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord
+586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC
+Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it
+If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
+A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation..
+Want to come see my HARD DRIVE ? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. . Geek pick-up line.
+If you torture the data enough, it will confess. . Ronald Coase
+If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime
+ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
+Use the source, Luke...
+Programming is an art form that fights back
+MacOS, Windows, BeOS: they're all just Xerox copies
+Whenever you think you have a clever programming trick... forget it!
+Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. . Dave Platt
+Your program is sick ! Shoot it and put it out of its memory
+/* You are not expected to understand this */
+To define recursion, we must first define recursion
+ERROR: Computer possessed; Load EXOR.SYS ? [Y/N]
+Linux is only free if your time is worthless
+Linux: find out what you've been missing while you've been rebooting Windows NT
+unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep
+Profanity is the one language all programmers know best
+It's 5.50 a.m.... Do you know where your stack pointer is?
+#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) . Shakespeare
+The more I C, the less I see.
+Confucius say: He who play in root, eventually kill tree.
+Unix is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully
+C++: Hard to learn and built to stay that way
+Java is, in many ways, C++-- . Michael Feldman.
+They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore . Olav Mjelde
+If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in
+When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem you encounter resembles a nail
+System Error: press F13 to continue...
+To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer
+Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
+Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code
+Who is this 'General Failure' and why is he reading my disk?
+hAS aNYONE sEEN MY cAPSLOCK kEY?
+InspIRCd, now with excessive ammounts of Cheeze
+I'm in the computer business, I make Out-Of-Order signs
+Kevorkian Virus: helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
+ [OUT OF QUOTES, PLEASE ORDER MORE]
+Error, no keyboard . press F1 to continue.
+Insert Something Funkeh.. err.. There! -->
+Cannot delete tmp150---3.tmp: There is not enough free disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again
+File not found. Should I fake it ? (Y/N)
+The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in
+If it's not on fire, it's a software problem
+My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
+It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages
+Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity
+Making fun of AOL users is like making fun of the kid in the wheel chair
+Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
+Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
+See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now.
+If you can't beat your computer at chess, do what I did . try kick-boxing.
+Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
+ASCII and ye shall receive.
+The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit.
+<FrostyCoolSlug> NO, You cannot dial 999, I'm downloading my mail ;/
+640K ought to be enough for anybody. . Bill Gates, 1981
+Windows not found, [P]arty, [C]elebrate, [D]rink?
+English, the Microsoft of languages...
+It's been said that Bill Gates named his company after his dick...
+Ever notice how fast Windows runs ? -- Neither did I
+If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft
+We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated
+"Microsoft Works." . Oxymoron
+Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something
+PANIC! buffer = :NickServ WRITE_DB(3). <-- JUST KIDDING!
+It just keeps going and going and going and going and goi <BANG>
+All that I know is that nukes are comming from 127.0.0.1
+I know all about the irc and the mirc cops.
+M re ink n ed d, ple s r fil
+Please refrain from feeding the IRC Operators. Thank you.
+I know all about mirc stuff, hmm.. I think this channel is experiencing packet loss..
+MacDonalds claims Macintosh stole their next idea of the iMac
+I can't hold her any longer, captain, she's gonna bl.. sorry, got caught up in the moment
+I recommend purchasing a Cyrix CPU for testing nuclear meltdowns
+Is it an international rule to have the worst picture possible on your driver license?
+Have you hugged your services coder, today?
+Ever wonder why they make the colon flash on alarm clocks?
+Whats this?.. blue screen with a VXD error?!.. I'VE BEEN NUKED!
+do-do-bop-doo-doo-do-do-doo.. For those of you who know that song, you have problems..
+be wery wery quiet... hunting wabbit...
+I've been IRC Nuked"Great warrior? War does not make one great." - Yoda
+"I find your lack of faith.....disturbing." - Darth Vader
+"I have a bad feeling about this.."--All of the Star Wars characters.
+Can I upgrade my Hard Drive to a WARP drive?
+Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\>
+Canadian DOS: "Yer sure, eh?" [y/n]
+CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
+I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
+Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
+Hey Captain, I just created a black ho-÷p!%$û NO CARRIER
+I like work ... I can sit and watch it for hours.
+Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
+Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
+Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
+*grumble* "You're just supposed to sit here?"
+"Hey, what's this button d..<BOOM>" -W. Crusher
+"He has become One with Himself!" "He's passed out!" "That too."-B5
+For a funny quote, call back later.
+Famous last words: 'You saw a WHAT around the corner?!'
+I like work ... I can sit and watch it for hours.
+If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
+Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
+Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
+BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
+My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
+Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!?
+Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
+Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
+Computing Definition - Network-Admin: Primary person who just got set up for the blame of the system crash.
+An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.
+Famous last words: This is the safe way to do it.......
+Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
+Clinton, "I didn't say that - er, well - yes, but I didn't mean..."
+CLINTON LEGACY??...even Pharaoh had only ten plagues...
+IBM I Bought McIntosh
+IBM I Bring Manuals
+IBM I've Been Moved
+IBM Idolized By Management
+IBM Impenetrable Brain Matter
+IBM Imperialism By Marketing
+IBM Incorrigible Boisterous Mammoth
+IBM Inertia Breeds Mediocrity
+IBM Ingenuity Becomes Mysterious
+IBM Ingrained Batch Mentality
+IBM Innovation By Management
+IBM Insipid Belligerent Mossbacks
+IBM Insipidly Bankrolling Millions
+IBM Inspect Before Multiusing
+IBM Install Bigger Memory
+IBM Institution By Machiavelli
+IBM Insultingly Boring Merchandisers
+IBM Intellectuals Being Moronized
+IBM Intelligence Belittling Meaning
+IBM Intimidated, Buffaloed Management
+IBM Into Building Money
+IBM Intolerant of Beards & Moustaches
+IBM Invest Before Multi-tasking
+IBM Investigate Baffling Malodor
+IBM Irresponsible Behave Multinational
+IBM It Beats Mattel
+IBM It's a Big Mess
+IBM It's Better Manually
+IBM Itty Bitty Machine
+IBM Institute for Black Magic
+100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
+Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
+Rules of the game: Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
+Rules of the game: Any given program, once running, is obsolete.
+Computing Definition - Error: What someone else has made when they disagree with your computer output.
+Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
+WinErr 653: Multitasking attempted - system confused.
+Cannot join #real_life (invite only)
+"Unfortunatly, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." - Matrix
+"Reality is a thing of the past" - Matrix
+"The future will not be user friendly" - Matrix
+"The general idea in chat is to make yourself understandable... ..." - Peer
+"heh i am talkin to someone...she not dead...yet anyways" - Stinky