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diff --git a/docs/conf/quotes.txt.example b/docs/conf/quotes.txt.example new file mode 100644 index 000000000..56a580e33 --- /dev/null +++ b/docs/conf/quotes.txt.example @@ -0,0 +1,203 @@ +Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell +Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors +Hardware /nm./: the part of the computer that you can kick. +Maniac /n./ An early computer built by nuts. +RAM /abr./: Rarely Adequate Memory. +Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects +Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels +Plonk /excl./: The sound a newbie makes as he falls to the bottom of a kill file +hURL /n./: a link to a web site that makes you want to puke +SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it. +If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it? . The Covert Comic. +A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. . Joseph Campbell +I dropped my computer on my foot! That Megahurtz!! +A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord +586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC +Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it +If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. +A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation.. +Want to come see my HARD DRIVE ? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. . Geek pick-up line. +If you torture the data enough, it will confess. . Ronald Coase +If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime +ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! +Use the source, Luke... +Programming is an art form that fights back +MacOS, Windows, BeOS: they're all just Xerox copies +Whenever you think you have a clever programming trick... forget it! +Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. . Dave Platt +Your program is sick ! Shoot it and put it out of its memory +/* You are not expected to understand this */ +To define recursion, we must first define recursion +ERROR: Computer possessed; Load EXOR.SYS ? [Y/N] +Linux is only free if your time is worthless +Linux: find out what you've been missing while you've been rebooting Windows NT +unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep +Profanity is the one language all programmers know best +It's 5.50 a.m.... Do you know where your stack pointer is? +#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) . Shakespeare +The more I C, the less I see. +Confucius say: He who play in root, eventually kill tree. +Unix is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully +C++: Hard to learn and built to stay that way +Java is, in many ways, C++-- . Michael Feldman. +They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore . Olav Mjelde +If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in +When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem you encounter resembles a nail +System Error: press F13 to continue... +To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer +Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes +Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code +Who is this 'General Failure' and why is he reading my disk? +hAS aNYONE sEEN MY cAPSLOCK kEY? +InspIRCd, now with excessive ammounts of Cheeze +I'm in the computer business, I make Out-Of-Order signs +Kevorkian Virus: helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. + [OUT OF QUOTES, PLEASE ORDER MORE] +Insert Something Funkeh.. err.. There! --> +Cannot delete tmp150---3.tmp: There is not enough free disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again +File not found. Should I fake it ? (Y/N) +The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in +If it's not on fire, it's a software problem +It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages +Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity +Making fun of AOL users is like making fun of the kid in the wheel chair +Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? +Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean? +See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now. +Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... +ASCII and ye shall receive. +The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit. +<FrostyCoolSlug> NO, You cannot dial 999, I'm downloading my mail ;/ +640K ought to be enough for anybody. . Bill Gates, 1981 +Windows not found, [P]arty, [C]elebrate, [D]rink? +English, the Microsoft of languages... +It's been said that Bill Gates named his company after his dick... +Ever notice how fast Windows runs ? -- Neither did I +If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft +We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated +"Microsoft Works." . Oxymoron +Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something +PANIC! buffer = :NickServ WRITE_DB(3). <-- JUST KIDDING! +It just keeps going and going and going and going and goi <BANG> +All that I know is that nukes are comming from 127.0.0.1 +I know all about the irc and the mirc cops. +M re ink n ed d, ple s r fil +Please refrain from feeding the IRC Operators. Thank you. +I know all about mirc stuff, hmm.. I think this channel is experiencing packet loss.. +MacDonalds claims Macintosh stole their next idea of the iMac +I can't hold her any longer, captain, she's gonna bl.. sorry, got caught up in the moment +I recommend purchasing a Cyrix CPU for testing nuclear meltdowns +Is it an international rule to have the worst picture possible on your driver license? +Have you hugged your services coder, today? +Ever wonder why they make the colon flash on alarm clocks? +Whats this?.. blue screen with a VXD error?!.. I'VE BEEN NUKED! +do-do-bop-doo-doo-do-do-doo.. For those of you who know that song, you have problems.. +be wery wery quiet... hunting wabbit... +I've been IRC Nuked"Great warrior? War does not make one great." - Yoda +"I find your lack of faith.....disturbing." - Darth Vader +"I have a bad feeling about this.."--All of the Star Wars characters. +Can I upgrade my Hard Drive to a WARP drive? +Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\> +Canadian DOS: "Yer sure, eh?" [y/n] +CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)? +I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. +Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing. +Hey Captain, I just created a black ho-÷p!%$û NO CARRIER +Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! +Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. +Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. +*grumble* "You're just supposed to sit here?" +"Hey, what's this button d..<BOOM>" -W. Crusher +"He has become One with Himself!" "He's passed out!" "That too."-B5 +For a funny quote, call back later. +Famous last words: 'You saw a WHAT around the corner?!' +I like work ... I can sit and watch it for hours. +Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. +Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. +BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! +My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. +Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!? +Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... +Computing Definition - Network-Admin: Primary person who just got set up for the blame of the system crash. +An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. +Famous last words: This is the safe way to do it....... +Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing. +Clinton, "I didn't say that - er, well - yes, but I didn't mean..." +CLINTON LEGACY??...even Pharaoh had only ten plagues... +IBM I Bought McIntosh +IBM I Bring Manuals +IBM I've Been Moved +IBM Idolized By Management +IBM Impenetrable Brain Matter +IBM Imperialism By Marketing +IBM Incorrigible Boisterous Mammoth +IBM Inertia Breeds Mediocrity +IBM Ingenuity Becomes Mysterious +IBM Ingrained Batch Mentality +IBM Innovation By Management +IBM Insipid Belligerent Mossbacks +IBM Insipidly Bankrolling Millions +IBM Inspect Before Multiusing +IBM Install Bigger Memory +IBM Institution By Machiavelli +IBM Insultingly Boring Merchandisers +IBM Intellectuals Being Moronized +IBM Intelligence Belittling Meaning +IBM Intimidated, Buffaloed Management +IBM Into Building Money +IBM Intolerant of Beards & Moustaches +IBM Invest Before Multi-tasking +IBM Investigate Baffling Malodor +IBM Irresponsible Behave Multinational +IBM It Beats Mattel +IBM It's a Big Mess +IBM It's Better Manually +IBM Itty Bitty Machine +IBM Institute for Black Magic +100,000 lemmings can't be wrong. +Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. +Rules of the game: Do not believe in miracles - rely on them. +Rules of the game: Any given program, once running, is obsolete. +Computing Definition - Error: What someone else has made when they disagree with your computer output. +Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic +WinErr 653: Multitasking attempted - system confused. +Cannot join #real_life (invite only) +"Unfortunatly, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." - Matrix +"Reality is a thing of the past" - Matrix +"The future will not be user friendly" - Matrix +"The general idea in chat is to make yourself understandable... ..." - Peer +"heh i am talkin to someone...she's not dead...yet anyways" - Stinky +"He who must die, must die in the dark, even though he sells candles" +"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you." +"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." +"France sucks, but Paris swallows" +"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. +"Ever wonder why the SAME PEOPLE make up ALL the conspiracy theories? +"Don't think of it as being outnumbered. Think of it as having a wide target selection." +"Sysadmins can't be sued for malpractice, but surgeons don't have to deal with patients who install new versions of their own innards." +"FACE!" +"Dirka Dirka Mohammed JIHAD!" +We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys. +"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." - Herbert Hoover +If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. +Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. +If Chuck Norris and InspIRCd met in a dark alley, Chuck Norris would get his first black eye. Ever. +Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. +Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. +There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. +The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. +Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. +Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. +Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. +Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. +Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. +When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. +Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. +Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. +Chuck Norris only fears one thing in this world, and that is InspIRCd. +InspIRCd's core is ran by donated Chuck Norris DNA. +Chuck Norris exists because InspIRCd allows him to. +Chuck Norris CAN punch you in the face over the internet. +When Chuck Norris uses InspIRCd, he doesn't use the /kill command, he uses the /ROUND-HOUSE-TO-THE-FACE command. +A developer only classifies oneself as such if they consider themselves as such. +"While hunting in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant got into my pajamas I'll never know." -- Groucho Marx |