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Diffstat (limited to 'conf')
| -rw-r--r-- | conf/inspire.quotes | 175 |
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diff --git a/conf/inspire.quotes b/conf/inspire.quotes deleted file mode 100644 index 9b2bc0f6a..000000000 --- a/conf/inspire.quotes +++ /dev/null @@ -1,175 +0,0 @@ -Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell -Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors -Hardware /nm./: the part of the computer that you can kick. -Maniac /n./ An early computer built by nuts. -RAM /abr./: Rarely Adequate Memory. -Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects -Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels -Plonk /excl./: The sound a newbie makes as he falls to the bottom of a kill file -hURL /n./: a link to a web site that makes you want to puke -SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it. -If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it? . The Covert Comic. -A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. . Joseph Campbell -I dropped my computer on my foot! That Megahurtz!! -A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord -586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC -Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it -If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. -A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation.. -Want to come see my HARD DRIVE ? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. . Geek pick-up line. -If you torture the data enough, it will confess. . Ronald Coase -If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime -ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! -Use the source, Luke... -Programming is an art form that fights back -MacOS, Windows, BeOS: they're all just Xerox copies -Whenever you think you have a clever programming trick... forget it! -Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. . Dave Platt -Your program is sick ! Shoot it and put it out of its memory -/* You are not expected to understand this */ -To define recursion, we must first define recursion -ERROR: Computer possessed; Load EXOR.SYS ? [Y/N] -Linux is only free if your time is worthless -Linux: find out what you've been missing while you've been rebooting Windows NT -unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep -Profanity is the one language all programmers know best -It's 5.50 a.m.... Do you know where your stack pointer is? -#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) . Shakespeare -The more I C, the less I see. -Confucius say: He who play in root, eventually kill tree. -Unix is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully -C++: Hard to learn and built to stay that way -Java is, in many ways, C++-- . Michael Feldman. -They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore . Olav Mjelde -If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in -When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem you encounter resembles a nail -System Error: press F13 to continue... -To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer -Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes -Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code -Who is this 'General Failure' and why is he reading my disk? -hAS aNYONE sEEN MY cAPSLOCK kEY? -InspIRCd, now with excessive ammounts of Cheeze -I'm in the computer business, I make Out-Of-Order signs -Kevorkian Virus: helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. - [OUT OF QUOTES, PLEASE ORDER MORE] -Error, no keyboard . press F1 to continue. -Insert Something Funkeh.. err.. There! --> -Cannot delete tmp150---3.tmp: There is not enough free disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again -File not found. Should I fake it ? (Y/N) -The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in -If it's not on fire, it's a software problem -My software never has bugs. It just develops random features -It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages -Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity -Making fun of AOL users is like making fun of the kid in the wheel chair -Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? -Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean? -See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now. -If you can't beat your computer at chess, do what I did . try kick-boxing. -Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... -ASCII and ye shall receive. -The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit. -<FrostyCoolSlug> NO, You cannot dial 999, I'm downloading my mail ;/ -640K ought to be enough for anybody. . Bill Gates, 1981 -Windows not found, [P]arty, [C]elebrate, [D]rink? -English, the Microsoft of languages... -It's been said that Bill Gates named his company after his dick... -Ever notice how fast Windows runs ? -- Neither did I -If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft -We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated -"Microsoft Works." . Oxymoron -Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something -PANIC! buffer = :NickServ WRITE_DB(3). <-- JUST KIDDING! -It just keeps going and going and going and going and goi <BANG> -All that I know is that nukes are comming from 127.0.0.1 -I know all about the irc and the mirc cops. -M re ink n ed d, ple s r fil -Please refrain from feeding the IRC Operators. Thank you. -I know all about mirc stuff, hmm.. I think this channel is experiencing packet loss.. -MacDonalds claims Macintosh stole their next idea of the iMac -I can't hold her any longer, captain, she's gonna bl.. sorry, got caught up in the moment -I recommend purchasing a Cyrix CPU for testing nuclear meltdowns -Is it an international rule to have the worst picture possible on your driver license? -Have you hugged your services coder, today? -Ever wonder why they make the colon flash on alarm clocks? -Whats this?.. blue screen with a VXD error?!.. I'VE BEEN NUKED! -do-do-bop-doo-doo-do-do-doo.. For those of you who know that song, you have problems.. -be wery wery quiet... hunting wabbit... -I've been IRC Nuked"Great warrior? War does not make one great." - Yoda -"I find your lack of faith.....disturbing." - Darth Vader -"I have a bad feeling about this.."--All of the Star Wars characters. -Can I upgrade my Hard Drive to a WARP drive? -Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\> -Canadian DOS: "Yer sure, eh?" [y/n] -CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)? -I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. -Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing. -Hey Captain, I just created a black ho-÷p!%$û NO CARRIER -I like work ... I can sit and watch it for hours. -Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! -Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. -Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. -*grumble* "You're just supposed to sit here?" -"Hey, what's this button d..<BOOM>" -W. Crusher -"He has become One with Himself!" "He's passed out!" "That too."-B5 -For a funny quote, call back later. -Famous last words: 'You saw a WHAT around the corner?!' -I like work ... I can sit and watch it for hours. -If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. -Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. -Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. -BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! -My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. -Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!? -Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? -Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... -Computing Definition - Network-Admin: Primary person who just got set up for the blame of the system crash. -An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. -Famous last words: This is the safe way to do it....... -Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing. -Clinton, "I didn't say that - er, well - yes, but I didn't mean..." -CLINTON LEGACY??...even Pharaoh had only ten plagues... -IBM I Bought McIntosh -IBM I Bring Manuals -IBM I've Been Moved -IBM Idolized By Management -IBM Impenetrable Brain Matter -IBM Imperialism By Marketing -IBM Incorrigible Boisterous Mammoth -IBM Inertia Breeds Mediocrity -IBM Ingenuity Becomes Mysterious -IBM Ingrained Batch Mentality -IBM Innovation By Management -IBM Insipid Belligerent Mossbacks -IBM Insipidly Bankrolling Millions -IBM Inspect Before Multiusing -IBM Install Bigger Memory -IBM Institution By Machiavelli -IBM Insultingly Boring Merchandisers -IBM Intellectuals Being Moronized -IBM Intelligence Belittling Meaning -IBM Intimidated, Buffaloed Management -IBM Into Building Money -IBM Intolerant of Beards & Moustaches -IBM Invest Before Multi-tasking -IBM Investigate Baffling Malodor -IBM Irresponsible Behave Multinational -IBM It Beats Mattel -IBM It's a Big Mess -IBM It's Better Manually -IBM Itty Bitty Machine -IBM Institute for Black Magic -100,000 lemmings can't be wrong. -Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. -Rules of the game: Do not believe in miracles - rely on them. -Rules of the game: Any given program, once running, is obsolete. -Computing Definition - Error: What someone else has made when they disagree with your computer output. -Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic -WinErr 653: Multitasking attempted - system confused. -Cannot join #real_life (invite only) -"Unfortunatly, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." - Matrix -"Reality is a thing of the past" - Matrix -"The future will not be user friendly" - Matrix -"The general idea in chat is to make yourself understandable... ..." - Peer -"heh i am talkin to someone...she not dead...yet anyways" - Stinky |